Secret

yeah!! it’s a NEW year! everything is great.. except that…i’ve got my period… geeez… last yr new year also like that… heeez… i read some1 else’s blog.. looks like i’m not the only one… :beam1

so…… it’s a NEW year… and i’ve got a NEW boyfriend…. heeez…. he’s like the MAN…. nope.. he doesn’t have dimples… neither does he have money or a car… but…… he loves me… :grin1 haha

Look at how he hold my hand.. it’s so natural… like it was meant to be… wahahaha…. no… i didn’t force him…

well…still not enuff??? haha… no more liaoz lar….

heeez… anyway.. after going my grandparent’s .. i went to my other boyfriend’s place… iyah…. too pretty is like that lar… very bz noe…. all the guys love me… wahahaha…. i wish…

my OLD boyfriend… well… a pun on the ‘OLD’… heez

BH and I trying to imitate a scene frm ‘A Moment to Remember’..

see the resemblance?? wahaha… no?? heeez… i took a long time to uglify myself for this shot k… else i’ll attract too much unwanted attention.. heeez… btw.. tt show looks so sweet and lovey-dovey…i wanna watch it!!!! *hintX2*

haha… so Bh’s mum cooked nice food for me… heeez… HUGE prawns… wahahaha…. so i ate like a pig? hahaha… maybe not so… coz they like dare not eat the prawns..so i ate the most.. so pai seh…:blush1

so i talked to BH’s mum.. and my deduction abt BH is right lor…… he’s so lazy!!! now i noe…. i’m not accusing him or making assumptions k! :mad1 to prove that i was right… i went to look at BH’s wardrode…. i nearly fainted… coz it was untidy again!!!! hey!!! i thought i juz force him to tidy it the other day!!! yes… and i got him to discard his cannot mk it clothes!!! really cannot mk it can…. dun say i so unromantic.. always buy clothes for BH… coz he needs it lor….heeez :tongue1

anyway, my ‘chu yi’ is great…. juz tt i need to do my assignments…. argh.. else i can forget abt enjoying my Vday… :blank1

Things to do:
1) Response paper
2) Mathematical Investigation

yeah… can’t believe this is the eve of Chinese New Year.. it’s soooo fast….. i got to go to school this morning… and have to reach at 9am… so i woke up at 6.15am.. tk good note of the time… the pt is… i got a speech test… yes… it’s a follow up of the pronunciation test i had on monday….

*pause*
monday’s pronunciation test
so… there’s this word… ‘BUFFET’.. easy word right??? but the pronunciation is not what u think it is according to the phonics.. so… the phonices shld be the right pronunciation right??? so i read it as…. ‘bull-fat’ and i confirmed with my fren… u wanna noe what???? there’s a mistk in the phonics on our word list!!! damn it!!! i muz have sound like an idiot! geeez… it’s tape recorded… else i’ll sound like an idio.. or maybe i’m an idiot *bangs head*

*continue from above*
i wasn’t in good mood… coz my mum told me to put away BH and my pics in my room.. coz my relatives r coming for dinner… i was like ‘why shld i’ i mean.. come on lar… i’m so old liaoz… i surely have the right to have a bf right? it’s not surprising mah… anyway… the pt is… i think what my mum meant was to keep those pics coz she didn’t wnat pple to ask so much…. coz Bh and i ‘no. 8 still lack of 1 stroke’ (direct chinese translation) which is quite true…. so… i kept it away… and my sis heard.. and u was so blunt and said… ‘You are so shameless…’ <--- refering to Bh and my pics...i was so pissed.. it's like... i didn't even touch or insult her can.. and it's not tt we did anything despicable or what...for no reason she said that of us.. still say "it's true what".. to think tt BH and i still bought tix for her to join us in 'Sound of music' ... i felt so hurt and angry... to think tt i love her so much... i dunno.. but the feeling was real bad.... u noe... it's like when u r a mum... and u clothed.. feed the child.. and yet the child didn't appreciate u... and even shout back at u... it's that feeling... u noe the hurt ur parents feel when u shout at them?? well.... u shld appreciate what they have done for u and give thanks! so... early in the morning... i feel angry liaoz lor... msg BH... he still slping... i so need an outlet to vent my anger... the only thing i can do is to read ‘The curious Incident of the dog in the night-time’ by Mark haddon i think i can relate the how sucky i feel to the autistic kid in the book…. so i read.. and i read… all the way to sch…

yeah.. so i reached school ard 8.40am… ard there… and another class (same tutor) was told to come at 9 too… so my tutor told us to wait till 10.30am!!! i was like what!!!! WHY ARE WE ALWAYS WAITING? come on every tues.. we waited for 4hrs for our lesson!!! i was fuming mad… so i read and read and read again…. i juz wanted to be ALONE.. oh… i’m a LONELY OGRE ya see…

finally….. wait till everyone from the 1st batch went home… at 10.30… and we started at only 10.30…. u noe.. if lesson were to start at 10.30.. i can slp for 1hr MORE…. after much grumbling… the speech was over… i had less than 10pages of the novel left…

met BH at Kovan… ate yoshi which is ex…. as the hawker centre stalls are not opened… so i was grumbling… and BH felt very angry too… so we were like 2 very angry pple… being angry for something tt had already happened… to think of it… it’s quite silly…. hahaha… so i was tellin BH that i was so angry in the morning… and the only thing i felt like doing was… GIVING HIM A BIG BITE TILL HE BLEEDS… wahahaha…

anyway…. i was so surprised and yet glad… coz BH mum told him 2 come over to my place tml and fetch me over for dinner… hahaha.. i feel so impt! :blush1

btw…Bh mum made this for our family…

it’s very nice right???my family says it’s really nice too… so we hang it up immediately! :beam1

lastly…..i am gonna forget all the unhappy stuff that happened this morning.. and also the past yr.. i’m gonna be friendly with my sis…. Happy Chinese New Year to all and enjoy ur reunion dinner!!! :yum1

special thanks to BH!!! he had joined the FP Hollister spree and got me this bag!!! heeez…. it’s my 21 bday gift!!! yes… v ex lar…. BUT i have been looking for a GREEN bag to match my green clothes… :beam1

my next targetS… if that 1st shipment is good and reliable tt it… heeez…
so nice right??? :grin1

see that big hole in Bh’s pocket??? tt’s y he needs to earn lots of money… heeeez….

dearest BH……..*muckzzzzzzzzzzz* X100 :heart1 love ya soooooooo much!

i think i’m having PMS.. coz i feel irritated… yeah… u pple wld have already figured that out…. i’m superly insecure…. and i feel very emotional… and i think i’m the lousiest person that cld exist in this world..

to top this up… i think i’m getting my period during the CNY… which sucks… but maybe not as bad as having period when u in Tokyo… yeah…

the pt abt PMS is… besides feeling really irritated and all the negative stuff… i’ll feel like my hormones are raging or maybe the word is sexually charged or to put in in easier terms is horny…

yes… i’m a very lusty gal… come on lor….. i even dreamt of naked women! wahahaha… kill me lar… why not naked man…. so y can’t BH satisfy me??

1) strictly agst my morals
2) no location
3) no money to book hotel

the bottomline is: PUBERTY shld start later… like about 21 yrs old… so 1 wld not get pregnant b4 the mature age… or won’t even be interested in sex till after marriage… yeah… then things like condoms will not need to exist….or abortion or even BGR at a young age of 12? geeez…. u get the pt???

another implusive PMSy entry by the great ME…. :wink1

*anyway.. i read BH’s Vday entry…. and u noe what? it’s his way of saying… ‘Vday is dreadful… bloody hell… y do i have gf!’ *

the pt is… since we can’t do anything to satisfy sexual urges… we shall talk abt it.. haha.. wanna noe? read on… :beam1
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i’m in one of those super irritatable moods today… i thnk i angered BH by my words which cut his heart into many pieces… but who cares… ‘as long as i’m happy’ that’s what he says… since he didn’t mind and still wld like to meet me and go out today… so be it…. yes… i shall tell my mum not to open the door for him…i’m gonna let him wait at my house void deck… under the hot weather… and i’ll take my own sweet time to prepare… then i’ll refuse to let him come near me… coz he will be perspiring and smelly…. wahahaha… how mean can i be… BUT do i look like i care??? :mad1

i asked BH… if he met any setbacks in his life before… he said… not really….i told him… “if i were to leave him 1 day… that would be a major setback for him..” isn’t it true?

yes…. BH is out for tuition… he won’t read this till he’s home tonight? hahaha… and when he see me later.. he’ll probably be too happy to be upset when he reads this….he’ll most likely smile at how silly i am… and wld even miss me more…. *looks at BH with innocent eyes*

that’s when i noe how much he loves me.. :heart1

anyway.. be glad tt i thot about all these stupid ideas… haha… it juz mean tt i won’t do it… coz i thought about it…. :wink1

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yesterday.. met up with XY and Fel at clarke quay… we went to Settlers Cafe at North Canal Road…well… i felt tt it was a cosy place to catch up with frens… play games.. and interact.. it’s better than playing dai dee.. u get what i mean? coz the games are much more interesting.. requires thinking and strategy…we spent about 3hrs there.. and managed to play a game only .. i forget the name… it’s a ticket or a trip something.. hmm… the pt is… it’s quite fun to play… and there are pple to teach u how to play the game! wowow… i like it… the games there are rather unique… coz i’ve nv seen them in toy shops before… and it’s rather costly… so.. overall.. it’s a GOOD concept and a great place to be at… the Settlers Cafe.. the price is reasonable… haha.. and if u r a SDU member… u’ll get 10% off… hmmm students will have special packages on weekdays too!!!

talking with XY and Fel… i felt abit sad.. they’re going to aust to study soon…. i’m so envious! haha.. think the pt is… i might miss them.. hmm… i wish i cld study abroad too…yeah…think it’ll tk me another 5 yrs… when pple are starting to work.. and earn big bucks… i’ll be studying? oo.. i’m so slow…

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i looked into the mirror today, and i looked ugly… BH is so not gonna haf a good time with me today… i’ll mk him suffer… and when i’m upset… i’ll mk sure he’s more upset then me…

if possible… i’ll like to abuse him…. bite him till he bleeds.. and beg me to stop…

wahahahaha… i’m such a saddist…

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i wonder what i’m getting for vday… i noe BH is getting Sound of music musical… we are watching the musical on mid-April…to celebrate the end of my practicum…. and my sis is coming along with us…

what else am i getting???? i really hope i won’t lugi lor…. coz i’m thinking of getting a watch for BH… coz if u all noticed.. he isn’t wearing a watch.. and it irritates the hell out of me when he looks at his hp to check the time… hello… it’s like soooooooo obvious….. and it’s like he can’t wait to go home or what… furthermore… a guy w/o a watch is not a guy… so not masculine…he looks sooooooooo sloppy can… sorry to other guys who dun wear watches… it’s just my personal opinion.. no offences man…

the watch i wanna get…. nice???? hmm… coz casio is having a sale on this model… i’m thinking of getting it… i got BH to try it…. and it looks ok?? i dunno… though i still feel that he’s toooooo skinny and not masculine…. the pt is… if i get the watch.. it will be the most expensive gift i ever got…. i’m in a dilemma coz it’s so silly for a girl to spend more on a guy…..and i hope he won’t get me puny ear stubs.. hello… do i look like i wear small ear stubs??

the watch is nice right???

maybe i’ll go get it at JP on monday… after my lesson….

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well… i used to like the 1st quarter of the year.. coz so many things is happening…
1) CNY
2) Vday
3) my bday
4) BH’s bday
5) our aniversary…

somehow… think i lose the enthu already….we need some spark in our r/s… tt’s what i always feel… somehow.. there’s no sweet and romantic feel… coz.. everything is juz stagnant… and I tk things for granted… coz of my mentality… “iyah… i don’t think BH will mind.. look at his face.. no girls will like”

yeah man… in future… it’s no wonder tt we aren’t together anymore….

LOVE isn’t important… MONEY is….

i ought to be shoot right…. :cool1

hmm.. as u all noe… i’m gonna be posted to a primary school for practicum on Feb 21.. i’ll be going to Xinmin Primary School.. the good thing is.. it’s near my place.. heez.. the principal is changed… so it’s not tt bad afterall… think there will be 2 VPs though… *1 old, 1 new* :blank1 anyway.. i was looking at the website and i got so scared… coz… everyone is old… and i got to be very humble.. show enthu in CCA or other activities… willingness to learn… and a whole lots of things..basically.. work till i die… coz if we trainees go home to early they will be v unhappy…. so it’s very ‘wayang’ …

the worst is the class … think it’ll be upper primary… wanna noe what’s so bad??? it’s coz i got to mark compo…. :err1 still nvm… i dunno who’s my CT = cooperating teacher… i hope she’s goos man… and is not a HOD… heeez… i dun mind the same as last yr’s one.. right… called the school and i’ll be in the morning session! GREAT!!! :beam1

things i will do this practicum:
1) be very fierce
2) i will not smile
3) i will write not so detailed LP… except for obeservations

this week:
1) do resposne paper topic 5
2) study ELE test
3) relax

it’s slping time…..:sleep1
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somehow….. i think someone remembered me in his/her prayers… or maybe God reads my blog and showed me that i’m not alone…

dunno why… it’s amazing how my day was being lightened up…

1) my NIE frens were like so friendly to me… hmm… i wasn’t alone today… though i had 4hrs break….

2) i met Liting on the bus 199.. i was so happy to see her… coz…. the bus was very crowded.. and she was standing next to me….juz like an ‘angel’ except tt she’s not one… haha..how many times do u get up on the bus and see a fren? it’s like choosing to enter from a particular door in the long MRT train… and you meet a fren… :grin1

3) 2 NIE frens msg me on MSN.. juz to say ‘Hi’ to me..

4) some1 tagged on my tagboard…

5) my mum made my fave soup for dinner

ultimately… i am loved…. :heart1

things i want to do:
– shopping
– return library books
– upgrade my national library card for $22/yr
– have dinner with BH… take a walk… relax and talk *seems a long time since we did this*
– get Vday gift for BH *was too bz with practicum to get anything.. will make up for it this year*

it’s slping time….

i know pple i do not know are reading my blog… thanks for visiting this humble little space of mine :smile1