Secret

i juz figured out that i can be compared to *this* animal… that is a Chameleon… i change my colours as often as it does… :blank1

anyway.. i’m like so frustrated with my comp… i mean… i love my comp… the speed wise is good… it looks good… BUT u noe what!!!!! it has lots of spywares!!! those bloody pop-up pops up for no reason.. and it irritates me… still nvm.. the moment i log onto the comp… the pop-ups appear!!! it’s like shit i tell u… :mad1

I AM REALLY ANGRY coz BH did not repair my comp properly the other time… it’s like.. he help me then so ‘bo xim’… help other pple then so careful :pout1 come on lar.. if you can’t eliminate the problem then… REFORMAT!!!! why wanna anyhow repair then say ‘see the problem will come back or not…’ argh…juz an excuse… PLAIN LAZY!

yes… i’m convinced that BH’s exam will not end… u noe what? even if it finally ends… he also won’t have time for me… so i feel so ANGRY… and wanna noe what he will say? “that time we spent 6days together in japan still not enough” i bet u! he’ll say that… and my answer is “IF YOU THINK 6DAYS IS ENUFF THEN DON’T HAVE GF.. YOU CAN HAVE ALL THE TIME YOU WANT BY YOURSELF”

so i’m WARNING YOU… don’t even try to talk back to to me… you won’t want to know what consequences you will face! :mad1

i’m thinking if i shld cut my hair short… but i can’t bear to…… :sad1

today.. i looked into the mirror… a full-length mirror by the way.. and i realised how awful i look…. argh…

1) my hair is in a bad state
2) i got pimples on my face
3) i look fat
4) my knees look black (not tt i didn’t wash it)
5) i am short

oh shit.. i didn’t realised how ugly i look untill today! well.. to top it up, my sis was like.. “ur hair is so dry… so disgusting… looks like hay!” yes.. i mean.. i know it’s in a bad state… but i really didn’t know tt it’s this bad… :blank1

yes.. so if u are considering a christmas gift for me… u can get me Xando or Extrim… :err1

the pt is…..suddenly i got so angry with BH… coz he kept saying i look alright… so he’s like LYING to me all the time!!! my mum says i look alright too… that day i met up with my NIE frens… they still thot i rebonded my hair again!!!!! :sad1

don’t tell me.. 1 week mks such a big difference! stupid BH… Bluff me… :pout1

shit i juz can’t get this thought out of my mind!!!! coz being slim and pretty is like everywhere… on TV.. on newspapers…. it’s getting on my nerves!!!!!

went out with my mum and sis today… i saw those slim and pretty gals… and i got so worried…. geez… i looked at myself.. and i feel even more ugly…. i think i can vomit at my own reflection…still nvm… these gals got bf can… i mean.. their bf are like good looking…and like so ‘teng’ them… then my thots turned wild… and my brain told me… “maybe tt’s y BH don’t care abt you as much as the past” then i conquer that thought by saying “he’s not even good looking or rich…so it doesn’t matter” :mad1

i sat down and looked at those couples ard me… some are married…. then i looked at their husbands and their wives… u noe what? the husbands are like skinnier than the wives… so the wives are BIGGER in size compared to the husband… i made a conclusion… GET MARRIED AT A LATER AGE SO THAT YOU COULD BE BEAUTIFUL FOR A LONGER TIME

i hate going out on sundays sometimes… KIDS JUST PISSED ME OFF.. they treat the shopping centres as a playground.. running all over the place…. BLOCKING MY WAY.. sorry BUT i am so not sympathetic to these kids… esp those on PRAMS… yes.. so dear parents.. if you want to have kids… pls don’t bring them out…screaming, shouting and crying in public is a shameful or intolerable sight… if you wanna have kids.. jolly well sacrifice and stay at home to take care of them k… if u really must bring them out.. DISCIPLINE THEM.. tie them up in a leash :mad1 thanks for ur kind understanding..

so how am i gonna be a teacher if i can’t stand kids…. wahahaha.. the kids will have a good time… dun worry :mad1

haha… i thot i got more than 100 entries!!! where did they go??? i got a bad feeling tt BH don’t save my archives after changing the site’s layout… :err1

anyway… special thanks to keni for advertisting his masterpiece on my site… hahaha… nice pics… BUT u noe what!!! pls censor the pics lar…. :grin1 heeez…

u noe what i miss? i miss the feeling of being single.. and this guy messaging u… talking to u… asking u out… it’s like those “i think u like me” feeling…. argh.. dunno y… coz i missed it…miss the ‘exciting’ feeling of him asking u out for the 1st time….saying something really sweet and nice…. ahhh….. can some cute guy date me pls……i raed from a gal’s blog… she said something like: the best thing abt being single is you have a string of men to love u.. but when you are attached…there’s only 1 man who CAN love u… so true……. :smile1

there’s this really interesting thread in FP that says “is it ok to tell him how much u love him?” haha… wanna noe my views??? it is NOT OK.. hello!!! why shld we tell him how much we love him… it’s so cheapo can… we gals will ‘lugi’ in the end lor…i mean… HE SHOULD LOVE ME MORE.. not tt we gals cannot survive w/o a guy… haha… the pt is.. man are the more unfaithful one…. more likely to stray… yeah.. so dun tell him how much u love him…else he’ll tk u for granted… let him tell u…. yes…u imagine how deprieved BH is… hahaha.. come on… i’m usually nice… depends on my mood lar… yeah… i love you… and i’m soooooooooo sincere… :tongue1

have a great day pple… :smile1

it’s past 12 now… so whatever i’m writing here shld be yesterday’s stuff…

geez…met up with papaya and 2 other NIE frens.. yes… the moment i saw papaya.. she stretched out her fingers to let me see that BIG ROCK on her ring.. when i say BIG… it is bIG man… i think it’s 1.7 carats… well.. her bf propsed to her like last week… so yeah… i have to congraulate her.. i mean.. tt was the only sensible thing to do right.. afterall, she’s my fren… and it’s something tt is worth being happy abt.. :beam1

so y am i meeting them today? coz i’m bored.. and i got to return winter clothes to papaya.. she’s such a nice gal… oh.. and we took pictures!!! wanna noe how she looks like?? haha.. i’ll post the pictures up soon!! actually, papaya is nice… juz that.. she’s kinda like a show-off… but it’s not her fault… to be rich right? :wink1

yes…so it seems like all our conservations revolves ard who is getting married… what clothes to wear… haha… and papaya is so wonderful!!! she lend me sex and the city DVD! i mean.. it’s all 6 seasons!!!! i watched two episodes alraedy! yeah man!!!! :yum1 told u she’s nice.. still nvm.. she specially burnt the ROM ceromony of my schoolmate for me coz i missed it while i was in tokyo! haha.. she’s nice right??

btw…the ROM footage is really pretty interesting… coz i had a insight to what ROM is like!!! i mean.. it’s like I HAVE NEVER SEEN IT BEFORE! sadly, the guy is so not cute… the gal, who’s my fren look alright, better than in school.. but not *that* drop dead gorgous… so what’s more? haha..pls be careful with ur actions when some1 is video taping u… haha… some actions can be disturbing+disgusting.. like… digging ur nose unknowingly…. :eek1

yes.. and i was so shocked by how little pple went for their ROM…she like have not much frens except for NIE classamtes… the guy also no frens… and he look so sorrowful getting engaged..maybe he’s forced? hahaha… no lar.. maybe he just dun like to smile? hmm… right… i better not comment on other pple… haha.. sakali next time i also hor… iyoh.. still nvm… i think her dress dun suit her… okok… dun say pple.. next time i machiam look so ugly.. :umm1

anyway… we ate at NYDC.. then went to look at handphones… btw.. i’m in love with this phone!

heeez.. i wanna change my phone!!!!

after the phones.. we went to Sookee jewellery…(is ‘sookee’ spelt correctly? it looks weird) HELLO! i haven’t step into a jewellery shop for like so long…………. and yes… they were looking at diamond rings… being a mountain tortoise.. i really didnt know what does ‘brilliant rose’, ‘best cut’, ‘princess cut’ means… so i juz looked ard…. yes.. a good dimond ring with a CERTIFICATE cost like 4000+ at least!!! i was like ‘wowowow’ .. tt’s the cost of a plasma tv! *am i materialistic due to my fren’s influence?*

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AFTER watching my fren’s ROM ceromony and thinking abt the diamond rings… i suddenly felt tt… I NEED A RICH MAN… haha.. i mean.. i raelly dun wnat a pair of small ear studs for an anniversary gift.. yes… u know who gave me tt… hahaha.. so after watching tt vcd.. my sis asked me…

sis: jie..when wld it be ur turn?
me: i think 10 yrs later
sis: so long… my fren (same age as her) says hers wld be 7 yrs later.. y u so long?
me: i juz need to mk sure… and tk my time…
sis: i can’t wait… i prepared a speech for ur wedding night alraedy!
me: hahaha.. is it?
sis: yeah………mk sure u ask ur future hubby to be of good terms with me… else i won’t say something good abt him…
*silence*
sis: u noe what… 10 yrs later.. u’ll have wrinkles.. u won’t be the prettiest…

haha.. i thought to myself.. how true..i think if i am fated to be with BH.. it will tk him at least 10 yrs… :zip1 well… just joking lar…. i’m not looking down on you…. really

silent voice: LOOK FOR BACKUP!!!

anyway.. i told my mum abt my encounter with diamond rings.. and she asked “so u waiting for ah bing to give u?” i was like… “if it’s him.. i can forget about the diamond liaoz…” hahaha.. shit.. i’m so bad…. :blush1

heeez… it’s sleeping time! :sleep1

u noe what? other than acting pissed and angry… geeez… did i juz say acting???? no.. i’m not! :mad1 when i say i’m ANGRY.. i’m really angry ok!!!

heeez… the pt is other than BEING angry tt BH is too caught up with his exams… my mind is like thinking abt… “what should i wear?” “How can i be pretty?” “what shld i buy?” hahaha… oh shit… i’m so embarassed to know tt i’m sooooooooooo narcissistic… heeez…. tt’s coz i’m too free lar…

anyway, my ex collegue, Linwen.. i dunno if you are still reading my blog but…. she said tt since she’s unattached then.. she wld always think abt what to wear ect.. hahaha… coz she got nothing else to think abt.. hahaha… i rem telling her tt “it’s not true! I think abt what to wear.. and how to look pretty all the time!” hahahahaha…

soooo.. i figured out tt… i can’t juz sit down and think abt what to waer… maybe i shld stay writing lesson plans… BUT where to start???? i mean.. how wld i know if i am teaching P1 or 2 or 3 or 4 or 5 or 6….. and what is the students’ ability? hmmm…. so i figured that writing lesson plans are not possible… BUT still… i can still PLAN what can i teach for a lesson right?? right!!! maybe i’ll do just that! which means… i gtg back to NIE to borrow TB and resource bks… this sounds so crazy BUT…….. why not? hahaha… maybe i can pop into NTU canteen.. who knows who wld i see??? :zip1

yeah.. so… the above is option 1 to ease my boredom…

let’s talk abt option 2… is go library abd borrow books… yeah….. i’ll definitely prefer option 2 to option 1!!! okok!!! i’ll do option 2!!!

what abt option 3.. tt’s go visit my grandpa everyday… tt sounds okie too… at least i’m going out… but u noe what… option 3 goes with option 2 too…

option 4: go out with mum or sis or go out with both!!! hey!!! tt sounds cool too…

see… amanda.. u have soooooooo much to do…. doesn’t tt mk u a bz gal…. :err1

right.. and there’s option 5… clear ur table.. and ur stupid notes… oh well… this is really tough.. what if i realised tt i haf to retake a module????? :eek1 i’ll be so upset……..

well…. the entry just acts as a space to verbalise my thoughts.. i mean.. i can’t possibly talk 2 the wall.. haha.. oh… i can actually….

anyway….. HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZHIHUI!!!! may all your dreams come true!!! :beam1

i think i’m an irritating gf…oh well.. maybe he treats me as one…

right… i fail to understand tt he’s got an exam tml.. hey… not FAIL… but i choose not to understand… come on lor… i dun believe tt he study so much dun haf to tk a break meh…argh…and i think when taking a break… the last thing he wld do is to talk to me lor…. and this pissed me off… u noe what… i can predict what he wld say when i confront him :pout1

ME: YOU FORGOT ABOUT ME!
HIM: but We spent a whole 6 days together already!!

and i feel so insulted that he actually puts “DO NOT DISTURB” on skype! i mean… msging him online is call DISTURBING??? nono… at 1st he say it was alright for me to msg him coz i was “visiting” him then he probably got irritated or sick and tired with me tt he changed to disturbing! geeez… i feel like a PEST.. i think he’s implying that i am pest…

this is plain STUPID.. But i cannoot forgot this…..and i cannot tolerate.. i can’t believe tt he spent 200yen talking to his MUm!!!!!! argh… i can’t believe tt.. i mean i only took 100yen to talk 2 my mum can…. actually this is not the 1st time… last time in BKK also like this lor!!!! HELLO!!!!!

YES.. i am selfish so what!!!! LOVE me or not…. :mad1

above all…. the bottomline is… it’s not his fault… it’s mine… not tt he LOVES exams… BUT things wld be so much better if i managed to get into NUS too… maybe we wld be staying in hostel… mugging for exams together… ending exams at ard the same time… i mean… i’ll be a FREE at almost the same time with all my frens not only BH alone…. needless to say, we may even graduate at ard the same time….

what matters is…. I AM SPECIAL…

usually, BH and i seldom argue abt things… BUT the problem occurs when it’s during HIS rushing assignments or exams period.. argh…. it’s like NIE and NUS are like so different.. when i’m free he’s bz.. when he’s bz i am free… :sad1 the worst thing is… nearly all my frens are in NUS… i’m in a pathetic state… what to do? blame it on my A-levels..

fortunately, my sis is on holiday… which is not really holiday… coz she got 2 go back to school…. anyway, we went for the busker’s festival last night… it’s really nice and funny…. if you got nothing better to do… u can go too! coz it’s like FREE.. you juz need to put in some money for charity!

just like a kid… i was hoping that the buskers wld select me for their perfromance.. haha… but on the other hand i was afraid tt they really wld call on me… heeez… i told my sis and she said.. “they’ll only call on couples” true enuff… i didn’t get called.. a little disapted though… then i counter my disappointment with… “if Bh was there, and i got called .. this means that Bh will get called.. it’ll be so paiseh if he buay enthu.. stand there like a stick… the worst thing is… i’ll be telling the whole world that HE is my bf…” oh shit.. i’m so mean…

“an idle mind is a devil’s workshop” this quote is very true… so i started thinking abt BH and me… i thought abt the future which i dun know what wld happen and felt that if BH isn’t rich and sucessful…i think i wld most probably leave him.. hahaha… aren’t i materalistic… i mean… Bh is a great guy… but so what if he loves me… love can’t give me everything… and this ugly thought leads me to “y stay when you know this r/s isn’t gonna work…”

*whatever i say can be so contradicting… ignore the above shit*

and i juz realised that the japan pictures didn’t turn out that well… maybe there shldn’t be any gallery…

btw.. light blue really smells great.. i’m addicted and i can’t get enuff of it…. ahhh………

the only thing to look forward to is… we are eating Steamboat tonight!!!

hi everyone! i’m back!!!! looks like nobody missed me? :err1

anyway.. i had a great time in Tokyo… for the first few days.. my period juz spoils my mood.. argh… luckily the last 2 days or so… it’s not so heavy… heeez… so BH had been a wonderful guy.. he carried my heavy bags for me… when i say HEAVY.. it’s no joke.. and he’s always so patient..giving in to me all the time… thanks so much… :heart1

i hate to admit this BUT i think BH knows me really well… haha.. it’s like he knows to make me happy when i’m in my grumpiest mood… knows what i like and what i don’t… heeez…and he tries to do everything for me.. and tt includes… packing my luggage… :blush1 right.. i am a very messy person… i dunno how to pack my stuff… and he helped me… heeez.. i felt like a queen! hahaha…

during this trip, i feel that i fell in love with BH all over again… :smile1 i like it when we are dreaming the same dream…. well.. i’m so looking forward for our next trip together… and i’m even more looking forward for BH to graduate… start working… and maybe we could travel more frequently….

as for now… BH haf to catch up with his mugging for the exams!! jia you!!! i can’t wait for us to do our album of memories for Tokyo… and of corrs..change the layout of my blogsite.. make a gallery for tokyo pics….repair my comp.. heez…

just before i end this entry… i’ll share some pics with you… haha… appetizers mah.. :yum1

this is taken at meiji shrine…it was children visiting shrine day.. and kids are all in kimonos… so cute.. hahaha.. (pics later for this).. the pt is.. we wrote our wishes on the small board (i’m holding) and placed it on the divine tree.. 🙂

taken on the train.. our mode of transport for the whole trip!

saw this huge poster of The Incredibles.. haha… do i look like her??? heeez…

this is us!

this is odaiba… it’s the rainbow bridge behind us!

at disneyland!!! raining when we went… so sad… fortunately it stopped later!anyway… there are like fireworks at disneyland every night!!! and it’s beautiful!! 🙂 so glad BH was with me to see that wonderful sight.. it’s the 1st time we saw fireworks together!

our disney tix! heez…

on the last day in tokyo, we took a 2hr train ride to Hakone, where we saw Mt Fuji! luckily the weather was good… we had a good view of it… 🙂 can’t believe that i saw this with BH!

our new baby… SNOW!!! so cute right? Bh and i fell in love with it when we saw it 🙂 btw.. this was taken at the Yahoo Cafe ( Free internet access) inside narita airport…

a family pic of us… we were on a train to the airport! comfy train ride man! heez…

more nice pics coming up!!! stay tuned!!! :wink1

*btw.. i bought not 1, not 2 but 4 bottles of D & G light Blue.. haha… it was on promotion lar… heeez… right.. anyone wants it… i don’t mind selling you at a special price! heeez…*

all the best to all my NUS/NTU/SMU are mugging for exams… they are ZH, YM, Liting, Diana, Shiuan, Karen and most importantly BH…my dearest Caryn… and anyone, everyone who raeds my blog! *hugs*

hi pple!!!! :beam1 Bh and i are at changi airport now… we reached too late… and the plane is so filled that we are left with no seats that are together… it’s like 1 and 3.. so Bh will be sacrificing… 🙁 nvm… i’ll compensate him in other way?? hahaha.. u wish!

so i went to DFS… and saw D & G light blue and Hugo Boss Light blue and… Polo Ralph Blue.. Light Blue wins the battle of the scents!!! hahahha

tk care pple!!! till then… 🙂

love ya lots from Bh and amanda!

just changed my wallpaper to The Incredibles.. heez… nice nice nice… not tt i love them BUT yesterday on the mrt.. i was so disturbed by this man who was sitting directly across me and he’s wearing sunglass… i was asking BH if he’s slping or what… haha.. the next moment.. i saw the advert on the mrt.. showing the incredibles.. and i figured out tt…. HE wants to be like them!!! with the black mask across his eyes… hahaha…. funny??? okok… the pt is Bh says we’ll be watching this movie instaed of Shark’s Tale… hmm.. but i doubt so… coz this show opens on the 18nov right? and he’ll be mugging for his exams… so….. i dun think we’ll be watching this movie..yupz… nvm.. can go rent vcd/dvd… cheaper somemore :beam1

so with reference to Caryn’s blog…last night we were talking abt man with good smell.. haha.. no! not BO! hahaha… i’ve decided to go DFS to get BH tt really nice cologne! then he’ll smell so good.. so sexy.. so MAN and i’ll cling onto him! hahaha… oh well… since there’s like D & G light blue… Hugo Boss Dark Blue… i shall get… what other BLUE are there? hahaha… i’ll keep u updated with this… heeez.. BUT a MAN’s scent is really attractive…. right caryn?? hahaha *in lust*

went to visit my grandpa just now…he is staying in a aged home for 1mth… coz my grandma is in malaysia… Bh came with me today.. and my grandpa was so happy to see him.. haha…. keeping telling pple tt i’m his granddaughter and Bh is my bf.. haha… this lady even said tt Bh and i look like siblings lor! esp the way we laugh.. look so alike… hahaha… look like meh?? haha.. think i wearing specs tt’s y… heez… anyway… we had a nice time with my grandpa… he’s a jolly old man… 🙂

came home and read FP! haha… this gal mentioned tt the engagement ring must be 3X ur hubby-to-be salary!! interesting ah!! Eg: if he earning $2.5K a mth, ur ring must be worth $7.5K else don’t marry him!!! haha.. BUT tt’s american standard ! so we girls…. though we live in s’pore.. cannot get cheated also….dun lugi ah! heeez.. no wonder.. papaya kept showing off to me her $8888 diamond ring! yucks…. noe what? she keep telling me her bf will be proposing to her on 16nov during a hen party for this gal who’s getting engaged when she’s only 20 to a guy who’s 2 timing her???? geeez… these pple are so gu niang can…tt’s y i say… i‘m of different frequency from them! the pt is…i thot propose have to be a surprise???? u alraedy got ur ring and flat leh! propose for what!!! yucks… luckily i’m not in s’pore to see this show! :psycho1

so later… it’ll be the 2nd time Bh and i are going abroad together! i should feel excited… BUT my period spoils the fun… arghhhhhhhhhh…. wish us all the best and… we’ll tk lots of pic… stay tune!!

yeah.. dun worry.. i’ll get japo stuff for u all… :wink1

miss me!!! so long… till 18nov!!