Secret

woke up this morning.. feeling horrible…felt tt the sky was tumbling down..

look at the crowded bus and mrt… which made me feel worst! and wish tt i dun need to go to school…

BUT.. life is juz so unpredictable..

i met Andy on the train today! fel’s bf.. heez… so was like talking to him… oh well.. monday wasnt tt gloomy afterall… at least i spoke to some1 on the crowded train…

sms fel after that…. even when it means overseas sms is expensive… i felt happier.. :yum1

sms my sis… feel happier too.. :beam1

went to sch… took a bus with mashitah… and we actually talk 2 each other! i mean!!! wow!!! and i thot she hates me!

then met my nie frens… xinyi n larene n sharon.. who listened to how lousy i felt… haha.. one of those days when i so needed to talk..

after project discussion, came home n i felt even better…coz i knew my sis wld always n forever be interested to talk n listen to me…

i feel so much better now :smile1

bugis is a extremely weird place… i hate and detest tt place…

i was alone…. walking towards the central library to meet my sis…. met an extremely weird man, with a little boy… he cornered me… and wanted me to donate $$ for dunno what organisation which supports ‘NO DRUGS, NO UNEMPLOYMENT’.. saying tt when there’s no unemployment, the kids will go tk heroin… and dunno how he link it to the show APPRENTICE! well… so i was like ‘so is this boy schooling?’ –> i thot the little boy was a victim… you know what… he shouted out loud tt i was being RUDE.. i was like.. what did i say wrong!!!! and pple look at me BUT didn’t bother to help? i was freaked out.. coz he looked as if he wanted to give me a tight slap.. :err1 i dunno… but i feel so paronoid now…

I WILL NEVER GO TO BUGIS AGAIN!

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tml will be a school day… to me.. i think alot of things is like happening next week… i feel extremely fearful…
1) need to submit the game project… and i think my group members like hates me… okok… i’m like too sensitive… the reason why i HATE working with new pple
2) starting my driving revision lessons … and i m super scared tt i forgot what i had learnt
3) voice studies presentation..which i dun even noe what to present
4) my algebra mid-term test

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think i’m in an extremely insecure and paronoid mood… and i can’t stop all these fears from happening…. like… i already tried my best to look for stuff to present…BUT ideas not concrete… i started studying for my algebra test…

man… still damn freaked over the bugis incident…

take it easy…

eating out is one of the very rare things we wld do…so we wld love to try out new eating places… haha.. have been wanting to eat here for the longest time.. and we tried it last night… was like soooooooooo hungry… BUT we had to wait coz it’s super crowded… and we didnt mk rservations… :pout1

food was great… though i really love japo food.. can’t recall what we ordered.. jap names are hard to rem man.. wahaha

hey!!! this is like so IN now can!! hahaha.. help me leh!!! :blush1

http://kevan.org/johari?name=amd_goh

havent like done this for the longest time!!! heeez.. juz for fun! :blush1

1. If you could go back and relive one moment or day from your life, without changing anything, what would you re-experience?
definitely my the entire YEP trip in Myanmar.. looking back.. i really really find it hard to believe tt i managed to juggle many pre-expedition activities with schoolwork… and i did things which i didn’t even think i wld have done if i havent gone on YEP.. knowing that how willing pple who were not as fortunate are willing to ‘give’ and serving for my community….

sidetrack: suddenly thought of trekking in Kalaw.. eating food with houseflies ard us… and how we peed in the ‘natural’ toilet… haha..or even survive with juz $US5 everyday… truely enjoyable… :beam1

2. If you could witness a moment in history, again without changing anything, what would you want to see?
this is tough… hmm… probably when singapore experienced a drought in 1960s…

3. If you could talk to a younger version of yourself, what age would you visit and what message would you give?
when i’m 17yrs old..in JC… “hey amanda, pls buck up on ur bloody econs…”

4. If you could choose one moment that would be guaranteed to happen in your future, what would it be and when would it happen?
i wish to have a son, Daryl and a daughter (havent thought of her name) and a loving hubby, who still finds me the prettiest women in the whole wide world, even when i am in a bad shape after 2 kids! maybe in like 15yrs time?

5. Pretend you left a time capsule for yourself 5, 10, 15, 20 or more years ago. You just opened it. What three things from your past are you now holding and what age were you when you buried them?
1. the first tooth i dropped (i forgot when)
2. first bouquet of flowers ( from my sec sch frens– Fel, KL, YM, XY n Yimun when i was in sec 2? )
3. little miss shy book ( from BH on my 18th bday.. prob the 1st thng he gave me!)

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today, fel and i spent like 2hrs at Body Shop can.. coz she wanted to get stuff… and her cuz gf who’s working there got 50% discount! haha.. i’m really not into Body Shop stuff.. juz tt their perfume is NICE! heez… anyway.. it was extremely tempting.. so i bought some stuff….

1) facial mask
2) nose mask
3) nail buff
4) facial wash
5) toner
6) oil blotters

total damage: $43.50 ( actual price = $87) —–> in future, if my bf can provide me a sup card.. this is what i’ll use on.. wahahaha…

so.. came home and i was super bz man.. need to add on to my already v bz regime of beautifying myself… wahahaha.. need to buff nails… cleanse face…. put mask… put toner… moisturise…. mk my hair… vain right… hahaha…. if i dun say u dunno lor…. so my night-time is super bz lar…

heez… think i’ll mask BH’s face for him too!!! :tongue1

i really need to admit that joining NIE may be the BEST decision which i ever made in my life so far. (excluding knowing some really awful people here)

i dunno about others, but for me.. i always want to find meaning in my life… like i wanna do something which is life-changing and at least when i die, i wld be someone who left a footstep in someone’s heart.. oh well… i mean i may not be very good at teaching… BUT i enjoy doing things for children… which may feel sucky at 1st BUT really worthwhile and satisfying if you see that it’s being appreciated.

on last sunday, i accompanied my sis for this NTU talk on the courses avaliable… i was extremely shocked when my sis wanted to go into Bioengineering or Life Sciences .. i know nuts about such bio stuff.. BUT my sis is super interested in that.. and i was like ‘are you sure?sounds really chim..’.. and she’s like ‘yes! i dunno what else to take if i’m not accepted.. it’s only 80 places can!’ at that pt of time, i was really thankful that teaching is so much easier than engineering or bio.. in fact, i thot that having a degree in teaching is kinda like redundant as compared to engineering??? oh well.. coz teaching is abt something you already know… BUT it’s skill and passion to whether you can teach or not…

anyway, to add on to how much i feel that teaching is wonderful… i enjoy the fieldtrips i had on monday and tuesday.. haha… reading this.. you wld think tt i’m mad… coz we actually needed to write a fieldtrip report… HOWEVER i need to admit tt i’m extremely thrilled to enter a WATER TREATMENT PLANT and INCERATOR PLANT and NEWATER VISITOR CENTRE. it’s my FIRST time going to such places.. and i think w/o NIE i dun think i’ll even go to these places on my own… even if i do… i may not have guides to explain or tell me the procedures that goes on in these plants… man… i have to admit that i learnt alot… and i feel smart suddenly!! really!! see… i drew a conclusion tt NIE is great.. haha.. though going for the fieldtrip is really time-consuming and tiring.. BUT what matters is i learnt something from it! :beam1 if you rem, i actually went to this military camp last yr coz NIE bought us there… that’s super exciting too.. coz i held a rifle and pulled the trigger can!!! :tongue1

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i managed to meet up with Karen for dinner today… havent seen her for an extremely long time.. and she’s still the same!!! really happy to see her! i mean… i was actually looking forward to see her!!! heez… miss her so much!!! and her stories are still as interesting as ever! hahaha :grin1

tml i need to go to school for voice lesson… really sianz… BUT i’m like meeting YM and Fel for lunch can!!! so happy to see my friends!!! :smile1 looking forward to seeing them coz they make my day all the time!!!

Friends who i desperately needed to catch up with: Caryn+Zhihui and Shannon!!!

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things i have yet to do :pout1
1) algebra tut
2) stats tut
3) fieldtrip write up
4) lesson plan presentation for voice
5) study for test *

probably doing them on tml night and the whole of friday and sat. and sunday!

still got time :wink1

yeah!!! finally fieldwork shit is done!!! if u guys are wondering what the hell fieldwork is…. look at this blog.. maybe.. only maybe it’ll help.. *no pics of me.. coz i’m the photographer*

hey! this is for my project… haha… just for fun k!

1) guess which logo is made by me?
2) vote which logo is best for a primary school game.

Leehom look so good here!!! :tongue1 was asking BH to go cut his type of hair… heeez.. and i like the mtv lor! thought tt the kichen scene is super sweet can! and the part when Leehom kiss the girl on her forehead! such a nice loving gesture!!! i want!!! :sad1

haha… maybe i juz haf a thing with guys with guitar.. hahaha… i think Leehom look so good!!!! hee… BH if u r reading this and u r jealous… u look even better with guitar.. haha… bring Leehom to shame man…

yeah right! :grin1

wahahaha… look at the monster!

hey, as predicted i’m on mc today! well… mc is the last thing i wanna tk since going to sch is cheaper than going to the doc.. BUT i have been suffering for the past 5days? and i think i really wanna rest and relax.. for a day? haha.. no lar… i’ll catch up with my fieldwork stuff later… and you noe what.. papaya also on mc today lor! coz i told her i most prob wont come… then she also didnt go to sch today… haha… she’s like my best friend lor! i dun think she’s sick anyway… oh.. i’m really sick :pout1 my voice is like gonna be gone soon…. and my nose is dropping off.. the pt is… i’m sick

so i’m like trying to relax…like i bought CLEO this month… CLEO is like my 1 week of happiness… haha… BUT for this month’s CLEO, it’ll be my 2 weeks of happiness… coz…. it’s like the 50 BACHELORS issue!!! wahahahaha… go get!! and there’s like 2 free sanitary pads too! hee.. better than nothing lar!

met up with fel, XY and YM last night.. really glad we met up.. coz i miss having good company… in fact, i feel that good company mks my sickness go away!!! haha… BUT i still needed a mc.. i finished whatever possible medicine i have at home :blank1 went to raffles city for dinner@ this japo resturant.. dunno y.. i love the food there… reminds me alot of tokyo… juz tt food in tokyo is better.. heez..

there’s this florist at the basement of raffles city! and the way their wrap up their flowers is sooooooo nice! coz it’s the type i like… extremely rustic… iyah.. no pic… BUT u need to go see it!

now.. i suddenly feel like talking to BH… coz i feel tt i havent spoke to him properly for a super long time… he’s juz too bz wih his schwrk…

as you have read from BH’s blog, we didnt really celebrate Vday today.. i came home right after lesson today and i felt rather sick…it’s the running nose and sore throat thing…. BUT i’ll still go to sch tml..and will still be meeting my frens….. coz my aim is to take MC on Thursday… so tt i cld skip voice class = 1 less journal to write.

anyway, BH and i had a simple dinner with my family… and my dad was extremely shocked tt BH didn’t bring me out for dinner… oh yar, my sis was even more surprised tt BH didn’t get any flowers for me! haha… coz i think BH usually splurges on me when it comes to special occasions like this? think my mum is the only happy one, coz BH listened to her advice – not to spend too much money on me… oh well.. i’m glad tt BH didnt spend much on his vday gift for me this yr… coz he made me something which money can’t buy!!!

remember that we used to record our awful singing with BH playing the guitar? BH put all the songs we had sang into a CD… so it’s like our own album!! wow! he even designed the music CD itself and made a really nice CD jacket ! he may be an IT expert BUT i think he muz have put in lots of time to do all these…. i appreciate it…. :heart1

the tracks are really funny to listen to it… lots of NG.. and it brings back lots of good memories… something which we enjoyed BUT we havent done for a long long time… i was super touched… was like tearing when i listened to it… esp. when BH did a Solo of ‘More Than Words’ .. my heart melted and i was crying like siao… :blush1 luckily i was alone… somehow, the way BH sang it made me reflect on my attitude towards him

i think BH is saying that i shld show him that i love him… made me feel so guilty… i’m not a good lover to start with :shake:

seriously, i think BH really puts in alot of effort in our r/s… i hardly never spend so much time on gifts for him… like.. i gave him a bag which i bought on discount? hahaha…to tell u the truth, i dun even wanna buy him lor…juz tt he likes it alot…. and if i pay thru my UOB card, the bag will be even cheaper… so i paid for the bag then said ” don’t say i don’t sayang you.. i bought u a Vday gift! “… i’m so disgustingly insincere right?

BH is definitely one who loves me unconditionally… suddenly, i feel so glad tt i have him… :smile1