usually, BH and i seldom argue abt things… BUT the problem occurs when it’s during HIS rushing assignments or exams period.. argh…. it’s like NIE and NUS are like so different.. when i’m free he’s bz.. when he’s bz i am free… :sad1 the worst thing is… nearly all my frens are in NUS… i’m in a pathetic state… what to do? blame it on my A-levels..
fortunately, my sis is on holiday… which is not really holiday… coz she got 2 go back to school…. anyway, we went for the busker’s festival last night… it’s really nice and funny…. if you got nothing better to do… u can go too! coz it’s like FREE.. you juz need to put in some money for charity!
just like a kid… i was hoping that the buskers wld select me for their perfromance.. haha… but on the other hand i was afraid tt they really wld call on me… heeez… i told my sis and she said.. “they’ll only call on couples” true enuff… i didn’t get called.. a little disapted though… then i counter my disappointment with… “if Bh was there, and i got called .. this means that Bh will get called.. it’ll be so paiseh if he buay enthu.. stand there like a stick… the worst thing is… i’ll be telling the whole world that HE is my bf…” oh shit.. i’m so mean…
“an idle mind is a devil’s workshop” this quote is very true… so i started thinking abt BH and me… i thought abt the future which i dun know what wld happen and felt that if BH isn’t rich and sucessful…i think i wld most probably leave him.. hahaha… aren’t i materalistic… i mean… Bh is a great guy… but so what if he loves me… love can’t give me everything… and this ugly thought leads me to “y stay when you know this r/s isn’t gonna work…”
to top this up… BH is taking forever to graduate… he machiam study for soooooo long haven’t graduate yet… it’s like by next june i’ll be working full-time liaoz!!
so with the above thoughts… i realised that i am too immature to know what love is… i mean… i find it hard to love unconditionally… maybe i haven’t found the right person?
in short, sometimes i love him.. sometimes i dun.. oohhh… tt’s called unsure of your feelings….it wasn’t like tt when we 1st started… maybe one one gets older… one’s expectations change..
*whatever i say can be so contradicting… ignore the above shit*
and i juz realised that the japan pictures didn’t turn out that well… maybe there shldn’t be any gallery…
btw.. light blue really smells great.. i’m addicted and i can’t get enuff of it…. ahhh………
the only thing to look forward to is… we are eating Steamboat tonight!!!
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