Secret

haha… read zhihui’s blog entry.. it’s really interesting…. and you knoe what.. i really admire her for being soooooo reflective… coz… though i thnk alot sometimes…. my reflection can nv be as good as hers… heeez… :thumbup:

so i felt kinda guilty when i read her article… i’m i’m those kinda woman who wanna get married BUT dun wanna have kids… haha… or rather haf kids only when i’m OLDER…

on the other hand, i’m afraid tt IF i have someone of my own… i may juz eat the person up every night… which may rlt to a kid by accident… sooooooooooo i cannot get married early… hahaha….

i must quote an incident… BH and i were in a food court, we saw this man, who’s quite young.. and he already haf one kid… and the wife is pregnant again! BH and i were like gossiping abt them… haha… v bad right? coz i think the woman look quite awful after giving birth to child… i mean… she obviously look older than the husband can….

can you imagine if u marry early.. haf kids young then you look older than ur husband… worst is… ur husband thinks tt u r ugly and he no longer hold ur hand in public anymore???

so as much as i really wanna have a son… and have all the energy to play with him… i dun wanna haf a kid young…. HOWEVER, i think things wld change coz…….. i dun think i can teach for 5yrs straight w/o taking a break… the longest break i can take from work is….. MATERNITY LEAVE.. :sad1 hahaha… sooooooo i predict tt i may haf a kid b4 28yrs old…. and i’ll probably be those kind of parent tt will leave my kid with my parents (preferably) and enjoy couplehood still… hehehe….

oh well…. but then again…. i still didn’t find the BEST candidate for the father of my SON yet! hahaha

oh well… i went to the library with my sis once… we went to the lending section at B1.. today, BH and i went to L7… that’s where all the reference books are.. the books are good… i mean… if u wanna do research… u can find almost everything there… and there’s a photocopying corner where u can photocpy ur stuff…

anyway.. the pt is.. i was fuming mad with the bloody security guard… damn him…. that asshole malay guy…. i was juz holding some notes… and he insisted tt i can’t go in with the notes…. and we told them we already put ur stuff in the locker already… noe what he say ” tt’s too bad.. who ask u all nv read properly b4 u put ur things in the locker” YOU OUGHT TO DIE AND BURN IN HELL… i mean… why can’t he close one eye… tt asshole…. i was sooooo angry tt i have no mood what-so-ever to do my work…. argh….. what attitude he has……… sooo u pple better hide ur notes man… coz the security is extremely tight….

today was an so-so day…i really wanna revise my calculus… BUT my things were in my bag which was in the locker…. soooooo i only had my WRITING MATERIALS…. i had no choice… i had to do my research for that silly module… soooo i found several good books there… which i didnt see at NIE library… soooooooo i managed to do my research… and i found some good calculus books and i revised my maths… BUT still…. i felt tt i wasted my time…

come on… if it’s not for BH… i won’t even wanna go to that library today…

and i realised tt there’s a mk-up lecture tml…. i’m not going….. will anything happen to me? coz it’s like 1hr.. and i dun feel tt the lect is benefical for me……. hmmmmmmmmmm… hate to be in such dilemma..

i’m so glad that the recess is here.. i so needed a break from school and from anyone and everyone… and i so wanna spend time doing things i wanna do…which is catch up with my maths? so boring right…

i’ve written out a whole list of things to do there are 15 of them.. and 10 are work related…. :eek1

5 other things i need to do include:
1) i’ve figured out tt i really need new specs… coz i cant see clearly…. and my headaches are far too frequent… it’s the specs…
2) i need to do something to my hair… think i’ll cut it slightly shorter… i wanna try Digital Perm BUT i figured out tt it’s not worth it to do it now.. so i’ll juz perm it at the end of the yr… in time for xmas cum new yr… can save abit of $$
3) i wanna shape my eyebrowns… coz i think my face looks chubby… hopefully the eyebrown will help me look better
4) meet yuenmei for lunch… which i already confirmed with her :grin1
5)watch “be with you” with BH.. coz….. he badly wanna catch a movie… and i kept pushing it away.. coz it’s way toooo expensive

right…. soooooooo things need to go according to plan… and i muz haf the self-discipline.. else i won’t be getting honours man… somehow… BH words really strike me hard and it’s in my brains ” u need to get at least an average of B to get the honours” haiz.. i’m so scared tt i gone-case liaoz…. i even haf prob passing the maths quizzes lor… how to do well…

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on a lighter note… BH’s mum was fantastic.. she went to hongkong and she bought me this top which i love… coz it’s really shiny… which lots of beads type… haha…. well.. it’s costly in singapore can…. i sooooooooo wanna get some similar tops from topshop… BUT it’s $50+.. it’s such a waste to use the voucher… :shake: so i decided to save the voucher for a rainy day…

yes… the bad thing abt me is…… i can’t bear to part with my money.. so i hardly buy things… haha.. so.. most of the things i have is from BH :wink1 i’m sooooooo glad tt he’s willing to spend me on… no.. i didn’t force him can… heeez…

i feel that the most wonderful thng abt BH is… he loves to shop… haha…so there’s no prob of us going shopping together… and he’s always very generous with his compliments… heeeeeeeeez….

anyway.. i bought a nike t-shirt for $22.05! discount of 40% can!! coz it’s off-season sale… good deal ah… and it’s white and orange!!! sooooooooo nice!!!! with the words “love at 1st strike” printed on it… with a little angel holding the racket.. it’s soooooo nice!!! and i’m happy… haha…

was showing BH this .. a flipbook on Perth!!! don’t belinda look sooooooo good…. heeez… was hoping tt i cld be like her.. coz the photographs taken in the pic is really nice and sweet…. i like such natural shots…. hopefully in future can employ a photographer to take pics of me and my husband when we go on honeymoon… :smile1

right.. tt’s all… it’s a do-work day!

i am quite a cynic actually…

sometimes, i’ll feel super insecure and i start to question and be suspicious of pple ard me…

and my ulcers hurt v badly…

i can’t eat well and i can’t talk properly… and i’m a grumpy girl:pout1

let me tell u my deep dark secret…

i hate pple to call me on my handphone… esp pple who are from my maths class… coz i spend EVERY SINGLE weekday with them.. and i absolutely totally dun wanna talk 2 them on a weekend…

i hate it most when they call to ask me how to do maths questions… like ‘HELLO’ .. can’t u juz ask look into the mirror and ask “mirror mirrior on the wall, who’s the smartest of them all” the mirror will tell you ” it’s papaya!! the smartest of us all! ” geeez… soooooooooooo dun blame me if i didn’t ans ur call… i mean… it’s deliberate… i think BRAINSTORMING together is a WASTE of time… and since, we are going to school early to discuss.. WHY do you still need to consult pple man!!! CAN YOU PLS GO READ YOUR NOTES TO UNDERSTAND!

come on.. if i’m sooooooooooooo smart… i would have passed my number theory and calculus test.. damnit… and i HATE TO EXPLAIN THINGS TO PPLE AND TO FIND OUT THAT THEY PASS THE TEST AND I DIDN’T…

i’m too egoistic to ask
i’m too proud to learn
i’m too self-absorbed to teach

and i dun like to do things if i know that i dun gain something from it….

well… there’s a quote tt says “No MAN is an island” so this implies that “All women is an island”

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one more thing, what do u think of pple who are such show off???

i can’t tolerate it can….

it’s amazing how pple can show off her diamond ring to pple whom she juz knew.. and she’ll like ‘brag’ abt it… and i’m always ard her… and what i need to do is ‘ren’

right…. maybe i’m jealous so i feel this way.. BUT still…. i hate show-offs…

you know what… i need to survive 2yrs more…

as you pple noe.. or maybe u do not know… i am a supporter of KELLY.. i even bought her CD can….

BUT on thurs i watched the show.. i can’t help it BUT to support Weilian <-- the blind contestant instead... i was super touched by his songs... he was so sincere... and you bet... i was crying like crazy when i heard him sing the last and the last 2nd song... haiz... if a handicapped person can become a superstar.. this shows tt nothing can be impossible for a normal person.... yeah.. dunno how to say... BUT i reflected upon myself as a person... and i felt tt i cld do more.... it's juz the same feeling tt i have in myanmar....

actually, i am not feeling well… coz i’ve got a sore throat…. :sick:

last night, BH and i stopped at bouna vista and ate “zhu cao” at one of the coffeeshop… the food there is supposed to be good…coz they won many awards!! so… we had a good meal… despite my sore throat… and the portions are really HUGE.. so it’s quite value for money…after which we decided to go to suntec by BUS.. which was a bad idea.. coz the traffic is VERY bad… :rant: haha.. so u can imagine how grumpy i was… i mean.. i’m already having a sore throat can… luckily i dun drive… else i’ll curse and swear till i get there.. hahaha

anyway, we reach suntec at abt 8.15… and comex was flooded with pple… the pt is.. amist the squeezing i still saw my primary cum sec school friend, Chan Ru!!! which was GREAT!!! soooooooooo though comex closes at 9… we offically left the place at 9.30pm… the trick is GO TO COMEX AT ABOUT 8.45pm that’s when the crowd starts to clear.. and i tell u.. u can get the BEST deals….or even BETTER deals…. sooooo while BH got some wireless router and his miniSD card… i’ve got a MOUSE!!! heeez… courtesy of BH of course….

“you noe why i get a 256mb miniSD instaed… so i can use the remaining $$ to get a mouse for you…” quotes from BH….come on… awwwwwwwww… so sweet right??? yeah right! haha.. but the optical mouse is really good…. :beam1 thanks!!!

and i so wanted to get the casio camera… which is at $499!! BUT i dare not part with my baby… haha.. the truth is… i can’t bear to part with my money… i calculated tt i’ll be low in cash.. in fact, very low…. :blank1 BUT i wanna get a handycam!!!!

went to see the doc juz now liaoz… was telling BH tt we shld go back on sunday night…. heeeez.. i really feel like spending money!