*ignore this post.. nothing impt*
i always feel tt my blog is a place i cld call my own… until i realised tt there are some things tt i feel aweful abt and i cannot state it here….
i feel tt school have been really tough for me…. and having four mods of maths is no joke… travelling to school every morning… and having the need to reach NIE at 8.30am is crazy too… (my lesson starts at 8.30 for 3 days.. and i have NO free days) u shld see the queue at boon lay interchange… disgusting…. and it’s bad enuff to spoil ur mood….
on tuesday i was super late… my bloody sandals broke… nearly step on dog shit…. and i spent a bloody $5.70 on cab fee juz to get to NIE and i was still late.. oh yar.. my heart was bleeding like crazy…. coz total cost in the morning already exceeded $45!!! i was super low morale tt day.. somemore i had a presentation in the afternoon… :sad1 luckily… everything went on well despite the bad incidents in the morning…
so everyday is maths.. i’m so afraid of calculus.. i dunno if i’m not trying my best or if it’s really tt difficult or if the crossovers are naturally dumber than those who were already in the degree course… somehow… i feel tt there’s a gap tt i need to catch up…. i kept telling myself tt i must be hardworking… i must not give up… i must deflate my ego to ask everything and anything i do not know… BUT still.. when it comes to doing the tutorial qns… i feel soooooooo demoralised…
school hrs are superly long due to my sucky time-table…. i have many hr breaks in between…. i shld do work doing the breaks… BUT papaya is juz so ‘smart’ and her intelligence irks me.. it’s like she’s so fast to pick ur mistks and you will not have a ego-booasting chance…. argh….
i’m grateful tt BH is always ever ready to help me… and whatever solutions he taught me is exactly what the tutor wld show in class… which is juz wonderful…. however, i’m superly inconfident of my work.. and i depend alot on BH’s help… which is bad for me in long-term….
so bus and train journeys home is also abt discussing maths problems…. till i feel sick and weary…
i kept telling myself tt i wanna do BIG things in future… i wanna be principal lor! hahaha… how i let such a small obstacle put me down… and whatever is it… i muz work hard and nothing abt my A-level will repeat again!
i will tk the front row during lectures…. i will sit in front during tutorials… i will try my very best to do my tutorials….
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i calculated how much i spent on bus/train fare:
1) my house to hougang mrt = 0.63
2) hougang mrt to boon lay mrt = 1.72
3) boon lay to NIE = 0.39
total = $2.74
total transport cost everyday = $2.74 X 2 = $5.48
i need my bus concession soon…
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and i’m getting sooooooooo ugly.. with lots of pimples on my face…
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evaluation of BH BKK trip:
anyway.. BH got me lots of stuff from BKK… which is wonderful… i got earrings of all colours shape and sizes.. and i’ve got boho necklace and bracelets… and i’ve got 2 new boho skirts (which may be too long for me).. of corrs… there were several things tt were soooo ugly and cannot mk it tt i rejected on the spot and got BH to bring it home… coz i can’t bear the sight of unwanted and ugly things in my wardrode tt i dun fancy… i think BH was hurt… afterall he bought so many things for me… and i dun seem to appreciate it… BUT i’m super fussy … if u ever wanna give me anything… give me vouchers… tt’s the best….
BH bought me a new frangance…. DAVIDOFF COOL WATER… very nice feminine scent… it’s a very flora and light smell… :thumbup: good job BH! — tt’s coz i TOLD him i wanted it… at least he didn’t get the male one for me… hahaha… and BH got this hugo boss perfume… which i thot is tooooooo strong and it mks him smell masculine in a very unapproachable MCPish way… :what: bottomline– i dun really fancy it… BUT i think i can get use to it….
i noe BH will get better by the day… he only gets better…. and i’m confident tt he’ll learn from his mistakes and get even nicer things for me in future…