Secret

well…… yesterday i completed my essay… okok.. it’s we.. coz BH kinda contributed… then i read my readings… ate dinner… then went walkX2 in town… haha… actually..not really walk walk… coz i wanted to go borders to look at books….. those education books… i needed ideas for my assignments… yeah… BORDERS have good resource books for teaching… so i spent a whole lot of time there… and of corrs the romance section.. hahaha… i love to browse through those novels with erotic content… haha.. it’s juz interesting to read lar… :beam1

sooooooooo when i’m in town… i MUST eat ice-cream… geez.. so last night we didnt eat my fave Belgium Chocolate Ice-cream.. we went to eat even nicer ones at Marche! hahaha.. with of corrs… strawberry cheesecake…. it’s soooooooo yummy.. but v fattening… :eek1

some pics …

heeez… see the i’m avaliable?? yeah… i’m avaliable!!!! :wink1

but BH is reserved!! by ME ME ME… hahaha…

subject to changes though.. i belif better guys will come my way! heeez… nvtheless.. reserve 1st lar… :grin1

my yummy yummy cake and ice-cream!!! so ex man… $8 lor.. but anyway…. it taste so good!!! tiramisu ice-cream btw.. :yum1

and last but not least.. this is us!

my face look bigger hor?? told u i got fat!

so…… what have i done today….
1) wrote a letter on behalf of my father who was fined for speeding…. u noe what… it’s 87km/h lor!!!!! i suspect he’ll need to pay the fine… the letter can’t save him this time…
2) did my schedule for unit plan… hard work.. spent abt 3hrs on it… hmmm…. juz hope i’m on the right track…

things left:
*** do my readings again!

shit lar.. i’m hungry again! :pout1

yes… so i gave up on the essay… my house is juz too noisy for me to think well… so i might as well go out right??

so my sis lesson ended early… BH came over… 3 of us lunch at macs… which is a bad choice.. coz i’m obviously getting fat…but she insisted coz she wanna eat the twister fries…. yeah.. i feel tt i gained weigh… lots of fat to the extend tt when i sit… i feel my fats protruding out…. YUCKS!!!!! so fat tt i dare not tk pics lor…. :blank1 oh well… or maybe it’s juz my hair… rebonded it AGAIN… whcih is bad… coz i look sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo pretty……. dull…. argh…. it’s too nice lar…. not like me… mk me feel like some icy queen…. or i can be compared to those chao ah lian lor… juz tt i didn’t colour hair… oh well… maybe those chao ah lians got better figure than me! the pt is…. i thought i look soooooooooooooooooooooooo boring tt i dare not admit tt i rebond my hair can… juz kill me!!!!

anyway.. the rebonding part is like 1 week ago… i didn’t wanna blog… coz… i don’t look any different!!!! tt’s the prob!!! :pout1 right…juz when i thought my complexion is ok…..i got this pimple tt juz pops up…. shit lar.. not pretty liaoz…

the pt is………… i’m really fun to be with lar…. dun look at my hair or my pimple and be turned off k… heeez…

so my mum say i got fat… i think BH thinks so too… juz tt he’s soooooooo well-trained to lie to me abt my physical appearance….. haha… tt’s coz i always tell him what to say to me when i ask him such qns…. argh…………. all my fault.. looks like i’m not getting any answers anywhere…. i’m living in a illusion!!!!!!

the pt is…….. my mum is such a good cook… tt i help it tt i got fat eating her yummy food!!! hahaha… and u noe what??? she cooked CHICKEN RICE!!!!! my fave!!! shit lar……….. FAT….. u all think BH put on weigh?? haha… coz he always come over for dinner mah…. y am i the only one putting on weight?? *bang head*

well… abt getting fat… let me share with u what my fren juz send me….

oh.. did i say ‘fren’??? she’s not my fren anymore… she wanna see me fat… and worst still… BROKE…. :mad1

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today we went out shopping at FOX… iyah… coz got sale mah… so BH the ah pek and me the auntie have to go.. coz it’s cheap cheap cheap!!!!! hahaha…. u noe what??? alot of pple will be waering the same clothes as me or rather us…. :eek1

things i bought today:
1) a shoulder off top i always wanted @ $10+
2) a long sleeve blouse for $10!! bought it coz i thought it cld cover my fats…
3) Celebrate English 5B TB @ $2!!!
4) Toto-chan … relatively new !! @ $3.90

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so BH is hoping to get attached…………………. finally…. wahahaha… no…. i mean…. get attached to a company during his hols…. u noe what??? i can’t wait for him to do tt :eek1 hope he gets it man….. come on lar…. he got to start somewhere…. at least i’ll noe if he’s capable of earnng $$ not mah…. hahaha…. else i can quickly go NTU and grab 1 guy b4 i go into the teaching environment… with mostly females… or married males :eek1

hahaha… so BH… u better get into BIG BIG BIG company ah…….

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i’m so convinced tt i’ll never finish my response paper.. it’s so difficult to write can…. let me show u what’s the desired outcomes of a PRIMARY education

At the end of primary school, pupils should:
1. be able to distinguish right from wrong
2. have learnt to share and put others first
3. be able to build friendships with others
4. have a lively curiosity about things
5. be able to think for and express themselves
6. take pride in their work
7. have cultivated healthy habits
8. love Singapore

come on lor….. how many of the above pts applies to u??? the education system is a flop lar….

right…. i noe how to response to the above so called desired outcomes… BUT to link it with the lengthy readings and a french video showing a french teacher in a french classroom is so tedious!!!!! :umm1

i pray hard and hope tt BH finish my essay for me……… hahaha…. it’s FAT HOPE…. :sad1

right… feeling so tired…. i’ll go slp now… night pple!

u noe what? i woke up at 8am today… i really wanna do my work…. BUT… i end up eating 3 slices of bread with 1.5 IKEA sausages that i bought yesterday… haha… yar… IKEA sells their uncooked sausages.. it’s yummy! of corrs i cooked them b4 eating!! but quite ex i feel… $3.50 for 5 sausages! haha.. anyway.. the pt is.. i brought my notebook to the kitchen.. hoping tt i’ll be able to concentrate on my essay… and deliberately switch off the modem and router..so i do not have internet connection… BUT guess what?????? my notebook detected somebody else’s wireless connection!!!!! argh………… seee…. i’m blogging now…

look at the time… 9.55am.. what have i done?? nothing!!!! :err1

well… so glad that it’s a 4day week.. coz i’ll get long weekend again.. tt’s the only thing i was looking forward to for the whole week… maybe not.. coz i actually look forward to seeing BH too… heeez… tt’s coz i can vent my frustrations on him… haha…

act. i got lots to do.. and it’s great tt BH is willing to help.. i mean… it’s like it comforts me to know that an individual project in school..may not be a individual project afterall… haha.. i got an invisible partner u see…

well.. i was reading my readings – Reflections on Singapore’s Education Policies in an Age of Globalisation…. i kinda like this article… so i was discussing one of the issues mentioned in the reading with BH…geeez… i hate to feel challeged … anyway this is a sensitive topic… will blog bt this when i have time…

today muz be one of those days that i really wanna be loved… coz it’s one of those days tt i want BH to send me home ..dunno y…i actually got into the house and came out again coz i wanted to see him.. so i watched silently till he board the bus and left… he didn’t notice me….

this weekend, i want to:
1) go shopping and buy something… juz to mk myself happy (Fri)
2) get a 2nd hand 5B Celebrate English TB and maybe resource books for teaching (Fri)
3) finalise my activties for unit plan and start typing the schedule (Sat)
4) MUST finish my respose for the above raeding (by sunday) —> draft by tonight

tt’s it.. amanda… self discipline…. tireness is juz an excuse to be lazy

a place that i wanna go………….. The Kingom of Bhutan.. well..NIE has this YEP trip to Bhutan.. BUT it was cancelled coz of the Tsunami!!! :mad1 argh… it’s such a beautiful place… the kind tt u’ll go once in ur life… i’ll consider going….even if i got to pay the full price for the expedition :beam1

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met karen in the morning… thought tt it wld be a good day today…….. BUT…

to only know that……………………………..

the assignment dateline is being brought forward.. :blank1 i feel like killing myself… and u noe what? all the bloody textbooks are being borrowed!!! :sad1 juz kill me…. nono…. i see that wall there… i’ll bang myself agst the wall…. *bang wall*

actually.. i feel that i shld haf enuff time for my assignments… coz friday=freeday=long weekend…. tt’s when i have to do my work… shldn’t be a problem right??? :umm1

*check out my wishlist below.. and be my fairy godmother don’t ya?? :beam1 *

i finally got my gmail!!!! heeeeeeeeez.. anyone wants?? i’ve got invites!

today is a not bad day.. i treated BH really nice.. which is not usual.. so u noe what? i think my period is gonna come tml.. or soon… :err1

it’s my free day… i’m so not used to it man.. it’s like… i haven’t got a free day of no school before.. it’s my FIRST time! sooooooooooo.. i’m so insecure man…. :blank1 hope nobody will come to me on monday and ask ‘manda.. y u didnt come for XXX lesson??’

did something which we don’t usually do on friday.. guess what? WATCH MOVIE… coz i think movies are very ex lar… might as well rent vcd or dvd to watch..furthermore.. i need to watch the show afew times to undersatnd it… haha…. and i love laughing at the same jokes man…. the bottomline is… it won’t kill to watch outdated shows right… hmmm… anyway… for today only.. i’ve decided to do what a girlfriend needed to do… watch movie with BH… watched MEET THE FOCKERS .. very funny… very nice……somehow… sexual references mks me feel sick and uncomfy…. tt’s true dunno what happened to me

yeah.. so i broke my own record this week…. coz.. i watched 2 movies can….watch THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA on wed with fel, XY and YM… a movie with BH today…. anyway.. i like the phantom show… haha… nice soundtrack… duh! it’s a musical what right… what am i talking… so.. silly me… didn’t know abt the show b4 hand.. and i thought it was a horror show!!!! i was like so scared lor…terrified when scary music goes so well with the show… haha… get the idea??? coz it’s PHANTOM of the opera mah.. hahaha..

the pt is 2 movies a week is luxury for me!!! ahhhhhhhhhhh…. i better work hard this weekend to compensate for lost time….

hey… next time see me in school.. dun say i so ‘auntie’ or look tired lar… told u all liaoz…. it’s the specs lar!! hahaha.. furthermore… those cute guys in NTU went for IA.. dress up for what right…. opzzzzzzzzzzz….. nono.. dun misunderstand… what i mean is.. BH havent start school yet mah… so i wont meet him during school days… dress up nicely he also cannot see… :wink1

yar.. having headache now… tt further justify my prediction of period coming…… :psycho1

school sux doesn’t it.. :eek1 it’s not fun at all…. lots of assignments piling up…

u noe.. my time-table is bad too… it’s allocated time-table.. sooooooo it all depends on luck to get the good slots… of corrs, i’ve been down on my luck almost all the time… i got this tut slot.. tt i have to wait like 4hrs for the next lesson…

to top it up… two 8.30am class is enuff to kill… :err1

so today is one of those days when my morning is brightened up by shannon’s lively entertainment.. friends is what i need…

i was talking to Mic and my juz got married fren, WL during the 4hr break… well.. so i asked…how does she noe tt the husband is the ‘one’…

WL: for me… i knew it when i am not interested to go on dates with other guys…

conclusion i have made…. i do not wanna give up a tree for the whole forest… maybe i shld be single…..

**Bh is a nice guy.. but somehow… i feel that we are not dreaming the same dream…. plus.. he can be sooo insensitive or even so ‘block headed’ which irritates me alot… to top it up… he still bu dong wo de xin after soo long… ** :pout1

i spent my new year at home… hmm… as i get older.. i realised tt i dislike crowds.. geeez… come on.. think i’m getting old… i rather stay at home and get cosy… or have :heart1-2-:heart1 talks… over some coffee? hahaha… so granny right??? hahaha….

i’m so glad tt BH went to church with us…….. and my fave part was watching SHREK 2!!! hahaha…yeah…….. we rented Shrek 2 DVD and we watched it…tt’s how we spent our new year! yeah.. it’s juz me.. my sis and BH… heeez..

soooooo i love SHREK.. SHREK 2 as well.. so nice.. i dun mind watchng over and over again you noe! haha… still got time to watch it again…. heeez..so funny… i LOVE DONKEY!!! he’s soooooooooo cute.. “are we there yet?” haha… and the ending…. the donkey-dragon is soooooooo cute too… heeez….and the soundtrack is gREAT too…. :beam1 got a number of sounds tt i like… BUT this is my favourite!! BH kindly put it on the site for me… thanks so much! dunno y i like this song……….. heeez… think it’s coz of the 1st line… enjoy! :wink1

btw.. u can listen to all the songs from shrek 2 here!!!

You’re So True
by Joseph Arthur (this song is played at the ending.. rowing credits…)

I’m strange and you’re strange
Don’t want you to change no way ahh ha haa
I came I explained
flyin to the sun without a plane
but you’re here ahh ha haaa
don’t you worry about me babe
cause i’m right there with you to say
hope you know you inspire me
you’re a flower and im a bee i need you
all this you do for free
give me hope and i can see
you’re so sure ahh hah haaa
don’t you worry about me babe
cause i’m right there with you to say
one day i will tell
you and i know well
you’re the waves of my ocean
here’s my realing my devotion
one day i will tell
you and i know well
you’re the waves of my ocean
here’s my realing my devotion
you’re strange and i’m strange
don’t want you to change no way ahh ha ha
i came i explained
flyin to the sun without a plane
but you’re here ahh hah ha
don’t you worry bout me babe
cause i’m right here for you to say
don’t you worry bout me babe
cause i’m right here for you to say(i’m right here for you to say)

For those who didn’t notice…………….*pts at the counter* thanks BH! :tongue1

so what am i doing today? nothing much.. juz that BH is here… to help my sis with her homework… which is like alot… 1 whole stack of maths qns that is untouched!!!! hahaha… yeah man….good luck BH!

my sis and i are so reluctant to go back to sch… so sianz leh….so we’ve decided to torture BH since his school is reopening on the 10 jan… still long lor.. he won’t have a good time today…till he finish his chores! wahahahaha

anyway.. i didn’t get to eat my fave KATONG LAKSA this hol… actually we wanna go eat yesterday..BUT that BH got to bid for his modules..and this totally pissed me off…it’s like a last minute thing and i cannot stand it lor….. so there goes my katong laksa!!! :pout1 i was so pissed yesterday that i finished reading THE DAVINCI CODE by Dan Brown.. nice nice nice…. can i go to Paris please!!!!!! argh… i wanna see the tombs.. the church.. the museums……. somehow… i wonder if the religious references are true…. :umm1 the pt is…. alot of reseach had been done by dan Brown for this novel… it’s impressive! read it if u haven’t! dun be brainwashed by his critical views on christianity….hmm….

lastly….count your blessings as we remember the victims of the Tsunami…treasure your loved ones and have a fulfilling year ahead!

*visit graf!!!*

i can’t believe that the year 2004 flies by just like this.. it’s so fast…. of corrs… this year is a very exciting year for me….there are many ups.. as well as many downs… but nvtheless… it’s wonderful…. i’m so glad that i’m alive and i thank God for how fortunate i am…

let’s recap the major events of my life this year:

Jan
– i went to teach in a primary school for the very first time.. and tt’s 1 month of practicum… yes.. i learnt many things… and even had phobia of kids.. haha.. what to do.. this is gonna be my JOB for at least 3 more years…

Feb
– the 1st vday that i didn’t prepare anything for BH coz i’m sooooo bz with practicum

Mar
– BH and I are actively invovled in YEP to Mayanmar… we are bz almost every weekend with fund-raising… we made new friends together… that was the period of my life when i feel really bz+stressed.. BUT life is enriching.. :beam1 I feel so proud of myself that i managed to survive… coz school work + YEP is a whole load of work!!

April
– Still bz with YEP
– Bh gave me a pair of ear stubs for our 2 years anniversary while i made an album for him… i was really disapted…hope it won’t happen on our 3 years anniversary

May
– it was BH and my 1st trip overseas together.. we are really excited about this trip coz it’s not just for fun BUT for a good cause!
– we backpacked with adeline and ben… and we enjoyed ourselves very much!
– BH got sick overseas and it’s the 1st time that i need to take care of him.. coz i hate no choice.. :psycho1 it sucks… but i wasn’t a bad nurse after all… haha

June
– we travelled to BKK after myanmar… came home after 1 mth abroad!!! the feeling is fantastic!
– the YEP trip made as realised that how fortuate are…
– i rebonded my hair for the 2nd time..
– YEP has not ended yet.. there’s post expedition activities

July
– went to yr1 orientation as game master and got to know more friends
– my second sem in NIE
– went to queue up for SAuic $25 japan tix *courtesy of Fel*

Aug
*can’t rem anything*

Sept
*can’t rem anything*

Oct
– really attracted to the perfume — D & G light blue

Nov
– went to Japan, Tokyo with BH, Fel and keni
– saw disneyland with my own eyes
– saw Mount Fuji

Dec
– Attended my first wedding dinner of friend
– Attended Muslim wedding for the first time

i think tt’s it…. told u it’s a exciting 2004 for me!

In 2005, I….
– will be 21 years old
– hope to cross over to the degree course
– hope that BH and I will be able to travel abroad again.. hopefully to Australia or Hongkong or Bangkok or all 3.. haha.. and hope he will carry my things for me again… hahahaha
– want to get over my disaptment of not getting to uni after the A-levels
– hope to get driving license or BH to get driving license and a car.. haha
– hope to have a smooth time for practicum and while teaching in school
– want to be MORE in love with kids and be MORE passionate about teaching
Note: I love kids now.. and i like to teach… i just want MORE… :umm1
– hope that i will be prettier and lose some weight by the end of next year
– daydream that a cute and rich guy will fall in love with me *joking!*

above all, I
– pray that my family will be happy and healthy every single day…and BH will continue to tolerate my bad mood.. service my computer… help me with my work… love my family and most importantly…..love me for who i am :smile1
– pray that my sis will do well for her A-levels and be more able to get into uni..
– want all my friends to be happy and healthy too

i’ll stop here for now… heeez.. i will add in when i think of somemore..

hope that 2005 will be a more exciting and fun year! may there be lots of love.. happiness.. laughter…everyday.. :wink1