{"id":138,"date":"2005-02-03T23:34:44","date_gmt":"2005-02-03T18:04:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.fakedevil.com\/angeldreamz\/wp\/?p=138"},"modified":"2005-02-03T23:34:44","modified_gmt":"2005-02-03T18:04:44","slug":"i-try-so-hardbut-i-cant-get-far","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/secret.6eptember.com\/?p=138","title":{"rendered":"“i try so hard..but i can’t get far”"},"content":{"rendered":"

hmm.. as u all noe… i’m gonna be posted to a primary school for practicum on Feb 21<\/b>.. i’ll be going to Xinmin Primary School<\/a>.. the good thing is.. it’s near my place.. heez.. the principal is changed… so it’s not tt bad afterall… think there will be 2 VPs though… *1 old, 1 new* :blank1 anyway.. i was looking at the website and i got so scared… coz… everyone is old… and i got to be very humble.. show enthu in CCA or other activities… willingness to learn… and a whole lots of things..basically.. work till i die… coz if we trainees go home to early they will be v unhappy…. so it’s very ‘wayang’ …<\/p>\n

the worst is the class … think it’ll be upper primary… wanna noe what’s so bad??? it’s coz i got to mark compo…. :err1 still nvm… i dunno who’s my CT = cooperating teacher… i hope she’s goos man… and is not a HOD… heeez… i dun mind the same as last yr’s one.. right… called the school and i’ll be in the morning<\/b> session! GREAT!!! :beam1 <\/p>\n

things i will do this practicum:
\n1) be very fierce
\n2) i will not smile
\n3) i will write not so detailed LP… except for obeservations<\/p>\n

this week:
\n1) do resposne paper topic 5
\n2) study ELE test
\n3) relax<\/p>\n

it’s slping time…..:sleep1
\n
\ni feel like shit when i saw my frens’ unit plan… btw.. my fren showed me….i feel so upset… why pple always spoil market… add so many things… why am i not the one who set the market… i feel that i’m the lousiest girl in the whole wide world… i cant’ seem to do anything right….. ohh…. no wonder… i didn’t do well for my a-level… at this rate, i’ll NEVER crossover…. i’ll be the lowest paid person compared to my frens…10 years down the road… i’ll be the one who the least educational qualifications… i got no degree.. no $$… no carreer.. neither do i have a rich man to support me… damn it…. my future is ruined! coz of the a-level…<\/p>\n

u pple will nv noe how it feels like to be tripped in a not here not there situation….u need to work very hard to get a degree…whereas.. uni students are uni students.. they will get a degree ultimately….. BH says he understands.. BUT he’s gonna graduate.. he will hold a degree….NOBODY WILL KNOW WHAT I AM GOING THROUGH… i dunno what to say… it sucks…. i feel like a rotten apple…. or maybe a decomposing dead rat…. *i truely believe tt it is impt to have a degree in this society*<\/p>\n

i tried so hard.. but i can NEVER be as good as others… i lose in terms of education… maybe looks… money earned? *i don’t teach tuition* or even the BF aspect…. oh yes…. like what jeeva said..’it’s my attitude’ … i’ve got attitude problem….<\/i><\/p>\n

sometimes…. i wish i’m better off dead….. i like being alone…. i’ll scream when things change…. i will not slp on my bed if some slps on it….<\/p>\n

i am autistic<\/b><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

hmm.. as u all noe… i’m gonna be posted to a primary school for practicum on Feb 21.. i’ll be going to Xinmin Primary School.. the good thing is.. it’s near my place.. heez.. the principal is changed… so it’s not tt bad afterall… think there will be 2 VPs though… *1 old, 1 new* […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/secret.6eptember.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/138"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/secret.6eptember.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/secret.6eptember.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/secret.6eptember.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/secret.6eptember.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=138"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/secret.6eptember.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/138\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/secret.6eptember.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=138"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/secret.6eptember.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=138"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/secret.6eptember.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=138"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}